I'm blessed to be sitting here watching my one and three year old scream and push their way through an argument over Sammy knocking Adri's block castle over, finding their emotions and words in the experience. They may not be in school yet, but I can relate to the "where did my baby go?" feelings of other parents as their children pass from one milestone to another.
It really does seem like just yesterday that Sammy was a newborn. This past year has just flown by, all of his and Adri's milestones racing past before I could completely grasp the fact that they had just surpassed them. A mix of emotions come out of their success. Happiness that they are healthy, capable, and strong. Sadness that the passing of each day and milestone also means that they are one day older and one day closer to growing up. I know that the ultimate goal of parenting is for your children to grow up and take flight, becoming the person you prepared them to be and utilizing all the lessons you've taught them over the years, but I don't want to lose this precious time and age that they are now! The way they love and need Matt and I, the unconditional-ness of it all. Each day brings the same thing, the same routine; but it seems that in a way, it's also always new. I don't think Adri running up to me and giving me a huge hug while she tells me that she "loves me way way way up to the sky" could ever get old, or the way that Sammy smiles that proud smile and his eyes light up when he does something new or when his Daddy comes home from work. I don't ever want to forget these things, and yet, I'm scared as the kids get older that they will disappear and I won't get to experience them anymore. I know they will become more reserved and won't just come up to hug or kiss me out of pure love anymore. That just goes along with growing up, but it still makes me sad.
Perhaps I need to videotape my favorite things of this time, like Sammy and Adri running to the door to greet their Daddy when he comes home, squeals of joy at seeing him and knowing he's there to play with them. If only I could get Adri and Sammy on video without them knowing in one of those times that they are playing nice and loving each other without being asked. It happens all the time, but if I pull out the camera it seems as if Adri pours on the sugar and it's not authentic anymore. I would have an entire hard drive filled with favorite memories, there's so many of them.
This reflection also brings about the realization that in three months I will be teaching full time again. I'm trying to stay positive about going back, I know it will all be ok (even though I might cry my way through two weeks of bringing them back to daycare), but I'm sad that someone else gets to spend all that time with my two children. There's no way they could enjoy and appreciate them as much as I do. (Although I know they're in fantastic hands there, there's just no one else that can do what a Mama can for her children.) On the other hand, there is no better job (other than stay at home Mama) for raising children. I'll be out of work early and get a lot of vacations to spend with them. The one thing I'm going to need to work on this year is keeping work at work. No work will come home with me. Home time will be time with the kids and Matt and that's it.
Hey Mama! Want to see something cool?
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| From Summer 2011 |
No, I mean really cool!
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| From Summer 2011 |
I can make a funny face!
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| From Summer 2011 |
This one's even funnier! Take a picture!
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| From Summer 2011 |
Did you get it? I can't do this much longer, my mouth is going to freeze this way!
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| From Summer 2011 |
I love when you take pictures of me Mommy!
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| From Summer 2011 |
Who planted these trees Mama? Great Grandpa? Oh! I like them a lot! They're very beautiful!
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| From Summer 2011 |
Adri-isms:
That's what the problem is.
(After going to look for her when she had taken a really long time to get dressed. She was found hiding in her closet)
Oh hi Mom! I was just looking for Sammy's paci. I didn't put it in my mouth. Nope. Here you go Mommy. I found it for you. And I didn't put it in my mouth.
It's raining! Mom look! It's going to get the flowers to grow up. Water helps the flowers grow up.
I have germs in my tummy today so I need to watch a special movie and have a baaba. And I need Mommy's special blankie and I need stinky.
Oh my gosh! It's cold! I'm cold because it's cold outside and you won't close the window. (As she sits in a tank top shivering)
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